1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
