Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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