wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
