I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
