goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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