Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
