Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
