Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
