I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
