Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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