hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
