so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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