is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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