Porn is love you can see.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
