I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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