Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You may now shotgun with the bride
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
