I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
