dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
