woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
