Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
