I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
