Already got asked if we're dating
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
