omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize