ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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