he wants to bone in the snuggie
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
should my penis look like a turkey
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize