i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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