Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
