this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
