All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
