More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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