It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
