We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
