yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize