therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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