It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
