I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
