i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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