i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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