Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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