His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
