Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
