help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
