I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
