I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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