Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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