You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
