Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
