he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
