I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
