he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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