covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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