Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
