soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
