do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
