I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
