I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
