My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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