Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
