ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
