Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
