ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
