Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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